tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1743534962821285000.post1739090186025802314..comments2021-01-19T09:48:39.946-08:00Comments on Stepmom Wannabe: Judge Not, Lest Ye Be JudgedAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06471189844415874087noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1743534962821285000.post-52501566815575477482013-04-23T12:33:17.487-07:002013-04-23T12:33:17.487-07:00Thank you for posting.
All women make good choic...Thank you for posting. <br /><br />All women make good choices, bad choices, just like a human would. Moms don't know whether their choices will work out in the end, and they pray that their children will do well based on their parenting (or, at least we assume most moms do). <br /><br />One thing to consider: Social psychology studies have proven that kids are developmentally harmed if they are NOT exposed to emotion and arguments from or between their parents. Too much emotion (disorder, mental illness) or arguments (abuse, severely failing marriage) can be detrimental, but hiding mistakes, arguments, and emotion from kids is also harmful. A family magazine I read often recommends to address mistakes with your kids, apologizing and discussing it openly to model to your children humility, apologies, and corrective behavioral action.<br /><br />So, imperfections are actually healthy. =) <br /><br />What I've noticed since my mid-20s is that some of the most judged parents in my life seem to have a reason associated with their behavior or parenting style. And if you were to overtly ask them why they do as they do, they will tell you immediately, as they're amusingly seem to be completely aware that they can come off looking nuts to others. <br /><br />A perfect example: A mother of children with severe allergies is going to come off a bit more uptight than others. She is on edge, at all times, worried that her kids could be killed by something as trivial as a peanut or a bee. If you were a mom who was constantly plagued with this fear, wouldn't you seem a bit controlling or overprotective? Yes. <br /><br />Similarly, we have no idea what each mom has experienced in their upbringing that has shaped their parenting. Some people parent like their parents, and others swing to the exact opposite because they believe they were harmed by their parents. They may or may not be aware of their extremes, but everyone judges them for it, not taking into consideration the unknown past.<br /><br />I was taught to find out WHY someone is the way that they are. I can't tell you the amount of calm I feel when I finally find out what was going on that caused a certain situation. So, I may disagree with someone's "style", but I also simultaneously know that given their situation, they developed their own strategy. I can theorize on how it may backfire on them, but it seems like any parenting, whatsoever, can backfire. It's an art, not a science.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06471189844415874087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1743534962821285000.post-70156082352457982412013-04-19T07:47:44.601-07:002013-04-19T07:47:44.601-07:00Thank you for posting that verse; it brought me to...Thank you for posting that verse; it brought me to tears. Your entire post is wonderful. Thank you for the insight. It's made a difference in my day.<br /><br />I'm both a biomom and a stepmom. Each role takes turns being the toughest on any given day. I'm constantly smack dab in the middle of both, trying to do the best I can on either end. I pray a lot! When I'm still and listen, sometimes the right choices come to me. Other times, my emotions overwhelm me and I make choices based on that. That's usually not a good outcome.<br /><br />Anyway, thanks for making your blog, it's a help. Traumalicioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09411844473351449304noreply@blogger.com