I can tell you what a good stepmom is.
There's all these books out there to help stepmoms learn, adapt and be better.
You know all it is? You want to know what it takes to be a good stepmom?
When your stepkid treats you like crap, embarrassing you in front of others- kids, adults, teachers, coaches, friends, family- You don't tell them how you really feel, you don't scream at them at the first chance to tell them how horrible they were, and in fact, you stomach nearly all of it.