Oh man! Just relabel this one "12 Ways to be the Meanest StepMom in the World"!
"12 Ways to be the Meanest Mom in the World" by Megan Wallgren [Hey Megan, kudos to you!]
The reason I find these kinds of articles "funny" is that I know that doing these fairly typical parenting things made me seem quite evil to my s'kids, and every stepmom knows what I'm talking about! I completely agree with the author, but you are particularly hated if you try to employ just regular parenting techniques you thought everyone knew about... But because I was in my 20s, the second wife, and not the real mom...Whoa doggies. It was like I was coming from the Gingerbread House for really normal stuff.
But no, in the divorce world, parents are often bending over backwards to maintain favor, so you're damn evil if you do something presented in that very normal article! Or, some see it as: If you're a stepmom, you're not allowed to parent, even if the kids are with you an inordinate amount of time. We know the catch-22 in that one and often err on the side of more-important caution though, understanding that if we don't parent with some standards, we get written up in the next court custody order as an endangerment to the children! (As such, I maintain standards that will keep me out of any false claims that I "don't care" and don't provide.)
Ladies, keep your standards. You DO know the difference between right, wrong, and spoiled. You will help your s'kids learn things that their parents maybe can't because they're too emotionally conflicted. But, do try to do that horrible balancing act...Pick your battles, if you will. Your marriage comes first. Keeping your husband and your house out of a court write-up is a part of that. ;-p
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Sunday, May 13, 2012
M-Day 2012
I'm going to keep this short and simple.
If you function as a mom, you deserve recognition as a mom. If the mom who gave birth and the stepmom both care for the child, they both deserve some form of recognition.
The mom will always have the all powerful bond and genetics and history and title and...and...and...more. If the stepmom functions as a mom in some way, giving of her life to raise the children as well, she can still deserve a call with a "Happy Mother's Day!", a card, a gift, a dinner. She will always and forever lack all the rest, from birth on, but she does deserve recognition for the work, effort, presence, guidance, and crap she puts up with from pure dedication. She may not seem perfect, act like "mommy", or be the Sound of Music (wannabe) nun, but she is there in their lives, serving as a mom in some capacity. And such, given the role she takes on, deserves some recognition on Mother's Day.
We honor our grandmas, friends who are mothers, and our friend's moms on mother's day. It's really not that hard to accept that the woman who also cooks, cleans, and cares for the kids gets some form of kudos on Mother's Day, as well. She fits in the category, by definition past birth, and anyone who says otherwise needs to examine where their judgement is truly coming from.
Oh, and cut that crap out, jealous moms. We'll always get the lesser gift, the forced "happy mother's day" wishes, and the afterthought. You won at the pregnancy and we don't know why you don't get that still. Be proud to be their real mom, and we wish you would be by showing your kids how self-assured and truly loving and accepting you are- by accepting us.
If you function as a mom, you deserve recognition as a mom. If the mom who gave birth and the stepmom both care for the child, they both deserve some form of recognition.
The mom will always have the all powerful bond and genetics and history and title and...and...and...more. If the stepmom functions as a mom in some way, giving of her life to raise the children as well, she can still deserve a call with a "Happy Mother's Day!", a card, a gift, a dinner. She will always and forever lack all the rest, from birth on, but she does deserve recognition for the work, effort, presence, guidance, and crap she puts up with from pure dedication. She may not seem perfect, act like "mommy", or be the Sound of Music (wannabe) nun, but she is there in their lives, serving as a mom in some capacity. And such, given the role she takes on, deserves some recognition on Mother's Day.
We honor our grandmas, friends who are mothers, and our friend's moms on mother's day. It's really not that hard to accept that the woman who also cooks, cleans, and cares for the kids gets some form of kudos on Mother's Day, as well. She fits in the category, by definition past birth, and anyone who says otherwise needs to examine where their judgement is truly coming from.
Oh, and cut that crap out, jealous moms. We'll always get the lesser gift, the forced "happy mother's day" wishes, and the afterthought. You won at the pregnancy and we don't know why you don't get that still. Be proud to be their real mom, and we wish you would be by showing your kids how self-assured and truly loving and accepting you are- by accepting us.
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