In case you weren't aware, the new comedy 1600 Penn features a powerful, beautiful stepmom as First Lady. Jenna Elfman pulls it off very well.
I encourage you to watch it. The very first episode, and the subsequent episodes, touch on a number of stepmom topics with an older, young adult daughter. Other situations also arise with the other 3 kids.
It's not a drama, you're not going to get your answers from it, but it is fun to watch. I think as a very large stepmom community, we need to support shows that show Stepmoms in a positive light like this. Encourage others to watch it, so that maybe one tiny notch can be struck in the mythology of the stepmom.